Heather Moore found faith thanks to her last foster family. Blinded by past hurts and a longing for a family of her own she is falling for a non-believer. Confused about her feelings and needs and the needs of the one she is falling for, she seeks advice from her friends. Should she allow herself to love him or should she leave him?
Jake Shepherd had not dared to risk his heart until he met Heather. In his eyes, they were a perfect match, but she didn’t see it that way. Why was it so important to believe the same way and how do you even know what to believe? Would he need to find God to get the woman of his dreams?
There is a clear Christian message. Church and God's creation are important to the story and character development.
The chapters where Jake struggles with his faith together with an Orthodox Christian monk.
"She rejected me again. Now I'm not even allowed to text her anymore." I know I sound defensive, but it is that or breaking down in tears. I am not going to cry about God or a woman like I did as a child.
"And you are hurt and upset about that." He nods, knowing his assumption is true.
"Of course! Who wouldn't be? I put a lot of thought, work, and energy into making a shelter she would be proud of. I thought if she saw it, she would realize my love for her was greater than the difference in our opinions of God. I would go to church with her and bow my head when she prayed. No one would ever have to know about my doubts. My family sure didn't until recently. I couldn't go anymore after Heather told me not to write. I was too angry. I couldn't hide the anger and hurt any longer."
The monk hands me a tissue. I don’t know why until I feel something wet fall onto my sleeve. Despite my determination, I was crying and didn't even know it.
"Jake, what you’re telling me sounds very familiar." Brother David relaxes in his chair again.
I blow my nose and try to compose myself. "What do you mean? There some other poor bloke out there with a broken heart?" I attempt to make light of the situation, not wanting him to see my embarrassment over my tears.
"I'm sure there are plenty. What I meant was God did the same for you that you did for Heather, only he did it more perfectly. And you, like Heather, wouldn't accept it." Brother David lifts both hands in a shrug as if what he said is clear as day.
"I don't get it."
"God made this earth and everything in it for your pleasure. He sent his son to die so you could be with him in glory. He built his church here for you to find peace and comfort and help in times of need, as well as giving you opportunities to do the same for others. You chose to sit in what you thought of as only a building and blind yourself to his gift and the purpose he had for you. You turned your back on his offering, deeming it unfit, not enough. You took the problems of the world on your own shoulders, thinking you could carry them more than God, who had created it. And in doing this, you broke his heart."
"How could I ever break God's heart?" It feels like my mouth is hanging open. I've never heard anyone even hint I could hurt God.
"Remember when Jesus beheld Jerusalem before he was crucified? He prayed for the city of God and wept over her. She was too blind to see his salvation and turn to him." Brother David hands me a new tissue; I am crying again without my knowledge.
"I don't think you can take in much more today. I don't want to overwhelm you. If you want to talk again, I'll be here. Sit here as long as you want. I'll see you at vespers this evening." He stands and pats me on the shoulder, then leaves me alone.
Alone with God, I can no longer hold it in. I break down, and a penetrating groaning sound rises from deep inside me. A lamenting of my soul. Unexpectedly, I am overcome by tears.