This book provides support, guidance, hope, and spiritual power for Christian spouse married to an individual with mental health or addiction issues. It is easy-to-read and includes recommendations from the husband-and-wife author team who beat all the odds to find joy in marriage despite multiple mental illness diagnoses. In spite of family members and friends persuading them to call it quits, they found power in their Christian faith and developed new skills recommended by world-renowned mental health and marriage researchers—now neatly interwoven in this groundbreaking volume.
Chapters are named and organized by the most common, bedeviling frustrations of individuals in this situation, such as, "My Spouse is Walking All Over Me" and "It's Not Fair!" and "My Hopes for My Life are Unraveling".
A 2023 CIPA award winner with a starred review from BlueInk Review, stating, "An invaluable resource. . . For Christians dealing with the challenges of mental illness in their spouse, this is a must-read."
As stated by Midwest Book Review and one of the PhD Psychologist reviewers of the book prior to publication, the two most unique features of the book are:
1) the blending of Christian faith with psychological perspectives and true stories from a severely challenged relationship
2) the inclusion of segments written by the "more severely ill" spouse, which provides a stark and vividly realistic window into the depth of challenges the authors faced
All reviewers, including Kirkus, Foreword, Booklist, and BlueInk praised the warm, compassionate, hopeful tone of the book.
As the primary author, I believe the practical recommendations are immediately actionable by the struggling spouse.
Pervading the whole book is the message of hope as readers see the challenges and positive outcomes in our relationship as well as the promises and wisdom of scripture.
God Sees Us Entirely—Past, Present, and Future
As spouses, we cannot clearly see why our mate is acting the way they do. Is it because they are selfish and stubborn? Is it because they have underdeveloped relationship skills and quite literally don’t know any better? Is it because of their mental condition?
You and I cannot judge. But know this: God knows the root cause of their behavior. God knows what is possible given your spouse’s circumstance. God sees your spouse’s spiritual potential and their future willingness to change and deal with their mental health or addiction issues. This is why making it a priority to rely on God’s power and guidance is the number-one recommendation of this book.
Only God fully understands what is going on in your relationship now and what it can become in the future. He can guide you.
In reality, nearly all marriages involve two spouses who have varying degrees of mental, emotional, or spiritual issues and unhealthiness. You may feel this is untrue or even unfair. We ask that you be open to this important point: neither spouse in your marriage is the good guy or the bad guy, the healthy one or the unhealthy one.
One of you may have greater challenges and disruptive behaviors than the other, that’s true. But how shall we think of you versus your spouse? Surely, calling you the “healthy spouse” would be an oversimplification. Perhaps it’s more accurate to think of you as the “seeking spouse.”
You are seeking relief from confusion and pain, correct? You seek guidance. You seek strength and inspiration from God. You are rightly seeking all of these important and positive things. Yet you likely also have issues and challenges contributing to the stressful dynamic in your marriage. As you seek solutions, please be on the lookout for personal issues that may require you to seek professional support and change.