The story’s outrageous central premise is a leap of fantasy based on a stupendous “what-if.” Bullied as a kid, Juan’s trials and tribulations are those of an everyman, an ordinary and decent fellow who dresses up as the Easter Bunny for a kids’ party and has a medical emergency which catapults the antics into high gear. It's an Easter message wrapped up in a feel good package - Mrs. Doubtfire meets The Bourne Conspiracy.
A Rabbit’s Tale offers a wonderfully funny, and at times laugh-out-loud hilarious, story of ingenious twists and turns. The author has assembled a rich cast of characters, sympathetically drawn in the case of hero Juan Arias and dastardly villainous as personified by Monty McPride, who messes things up in grand fashion. The array of humanity in these pages spans the spectrum of likeable to detestable.
Readers may see some of it coming - perhaps not, but the end wraps up in a very satisfying way.
The car zooming down the highway was a regular compact car, only this one had a giant rabbit behind the wheel, and it was in a hurry. Juan got stuck doing cleaning duty before Leigh's wine-tasting party. It was scheduled to start early in the afternoon. Leigh invited a few of her girlfriends over. They would have a little fashion and makeup get-together, followed by the wine tasting. Then she would have dinner delivered.
There was no such thing as a simple anything for Leigh. She had to outdo everyone. Everything had a way of escalating into a big production. She was not simply tired after a thirty-hour work week. She was “exhaaauuusted” and she wanted you to know it. From hearing her talk about her work day, you’d think she single handedly built the pyramids. She was a one-up-expert. Regardless of your story, she had a better one and she delivered it through an affected accent with a heaping of condescension and a nasal twang.
After cleaning the house, because Leigh was simply too exhausted, Juan put on the rabbit costume. He would have just enough time to make it to Ray and Angie's house on time, maybe a few minutes late. He would have to push it.
Aside from the man in the rabbit suit, sweating profusely because he was running late, and the rabbit ears sticking out from the opened sunroof, it was just another car on the highway. That is until he passed a hidden police vehicle while doing 78 on a 65 mile per hour stretch of Interstate 40.
Juan passed several cars and decided to get into the right- hand lane, that's when he saw the flashing blue light behind him. “Oh no! I don't need this right now. Not now!” He pounded the steering wheel and thought, “Please don’t let it be me. Please, please, I’m late enough already!” He optimistically kept his speed below 65. “Maybe he’ll pass me and chase a real criminal.” No such luck today - the police car was on his tail. Then the siren made a creepy howling sound which meant “pull over.”
Juan looked in the rear-view mirror as he watched and waited for the police officer to get out of the cruiser. It felt as though he had been sitting there for a half hour. “What is he doing in there?” Juan wondered. “Is he finishing a crossword puzzle, or maybe crocheting a sweater? It just makes no sense to pull someone over and then make them wait this long, especially when they’re late for an Easter party.” Two minutes after pulling Juan over, the police officer got out of his vehicle and walked toward Juan's car.
As the officer approached, he looked inside the rear passenger seat of Juan's rabbit mobile. Then he stopped and gazed at Juan for a moment. The officer was tall. He wore sunglasses. He was chewing gum discreetly, or it could have been tobacco. “License, please,” he said to the man in the bunny suit. The officer took the license and examined the photo. Then, he studied Juan. He looked back and forth from Juan to the license several times.
“Sir, are you carrying any drugs, weapons, or contraband in your vehicle?”
Juan wondered what kind of drugs or weapons were usually carried by a rabbit. Maybe some catnip-spiked carrots, a set of carrot-ended nun-chucks, and possibly some rabbit nudie magazines. “No, sir, I'm not carrying any of those items. I'm on my way to a kid's party; I'm running late. I didn't want to disappoint those terrific little youngsters,” Juan forced a smile.
The officer did not respond.
“Please officer, I didn't mean to speed. I promise I'll slow down. I just didn't want to be late.”
After a couple of discreet chews on his gum, the officer took another look at the license and said, “I’m letting you off with a warning this time.”
Juan could not believe his ears. “This must be my lucky day!” He would soon learn that he was mistaken. At least for now, he could go on his way.
The trooper handed the driver's license back to him. “Keep it under the speed limit. Don’t be a foolish wabbit.”
Juan thought he heard the police officer say, “Wabbit.”
“Did you say wabbit?” Juan asked.
The trooper began to chew less discretely. “I did! What about it?” The officer asked in a slightly agitated voice.
Juan sank down a little bit lower behind the steering wheel. “No, nothing, I didn’t know...” The trooper was now chewing less discreetly. There was a definite increase in chewing activity going on. “You didn't know what?” the trooper demanded, slightly raising his voice. Now his jawbone looked a little tense.
Juan reluctantly finished his sentence in a low voice as he shrunk further into his seat. “I didn't know grown policemen said wabbit, that's all.”
The cop was now chomping on his gum or whatever it was. He could chew wood with that jaw. “And what's wrong with me saying wabbit?” the cop demanded. This time, he leaned in toward Juan with one hand on his gun. Juan sank further and further into his seat.
“I asked you a question. What’s wrong with me saying wabbit?” The trooper asked a second time. He chewed so hard, Juan thought the cop could have chewed the tires of his car.
Juan was desperate to get his foot out of his mouth. “No, no, nothing’s wrong with you saying wabbit. I didn’t mean…”
“Sir, I need you to get out of the car,” the trooper said in a stern voice.
Juan was now panicking “But, officer, I didn’t mean anything…”
“Get out of the car, NOW!” came the booming voice of officer Lockjaw.